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    10/25/2009

    我想我可以再坚强一些

    终于鼓起勇气打电话给外公 他的声音很精神

    特别是听到保研的事情定下来了

    外婆竟然开心得有些哽咽

    他们看不到我的未来 比我自己看不到更加难过

    我想 我的决定是正确的

    他们的快乐 才能让我感到最踏实的存在感

    我尽量用高昂的语调 开心的语气

    其实眼圈已经发红 心里抽得很紧很痛

    终于开始谈论外公的情况 外婆顿时泣不成声

    我不知道能够说什么 相伴一辈子的人 竟开始进入了倒计时

    我的悲伤算什么 外婆所承受得剧痛 我又能够分担什么

    忽然 断了线 再打过去 对方手机没电关机了

    很想在墙角蜷缩成一团 心里某个地方开始慢慢崩坍

    我知道不该依赖esse 它只会让我更加懦弱

    而我却懦弱得 任由它来支配我

    这些天 流过了太多的眼泪 眼睛又涩又干

    我知道 转身过后 那个我又能够继续与旁人们谈笑风生

    那个我 和 这个我 隔着一条越来越巨大的鸿沟

    一直以来 所追求的坚强 淡定 在那个她身上 漂亮地呈现得让我嫉妒

    此时蜷缩在角落的我 只想一个静静坐着 直到那个她回到我的体内

    支撑起我的身体 让我能够站起来 走下去

    小时候的片段 一一回放 就像一部剪辑不精的黑白电影

    每一幕狠狠地击垮我的乐观 直到这个我粉碎

    我知道这是生命必经的阶段 我知道这是人生必须经历的过程

    如同一部多么精彩的电影 也会有落幕ending的时刻 因为必须这样它才能够完整

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